Confession of a crazy artist

I lost it, I'm mad, I'm crazy. I love God more than anything, probably because I'm startin to appreciate myself more. Watchin all this films that are set in the past, made me understand that I was born in the wrong decade, I know that real life is not like the films but history books are the closest things to reality. I wish I was born in the late 40's, like 1947/48/49, so I would be a teenager in the 60's to be part of the biggest revolutions, the greatest music with artists like the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, Aretha Franklin, Nina Simone, Stevie Wonder.... CRAYZAY. I'm just in this phaze, where everythin is psychedelicly amazing. I loved their style, their afros everything bout the 60's. I would be probably married with kids now, and trust me I would have a story to tell. Italy was gr8. UK was gr8. US was gr8. Who cares bout the technologies of this bloody centuries, if i didnt have a blog, i would have a pen, or typewriter. I would give my words to people in the street, marching with the flower ppl, with a flower on my extra large waistcoat, singing with my friend's guitar, proclaming peace and love, where the kiss didn't mean anything sexual (at times) but jus love, where an affectionate person like me would be able to hug, and kiss whoever he felt like because he loved them. By the way this is the dimension I'm in right now. XOXO DBO

I call him, called him like 40 times last week, he never picked up the phone. He was my closest friend, it hurts, cause I happen to always think the worst. I think he's avoiding me, he loves me but I irritate him. I'm sure I don't but that's how I feel, I miss talking to him, I look at my phone, no missed calls, he never calls back. I always need someone to talk to, he has a job now, maybe that is the reason, but if that is the way I'm goin to be when I get a job, I don't want it. I think I'm grown, but I really am not, I'm a baby, I need attention, I want attention but at the same time I hate attention, cause that is when people think of me, and I don't know what they think of me. It's frustrating. Because I love fashion, I don't hide the way I feel, I don't fight, I love taking care of my body, I'm not amused by any girl that passes my way. I'm a girl?!?! Fuck that!!! I'm tired of being called a girl, just because I'm different, because when I see a Unconditional sweater I fall in love, because it's very hard for a girl to impress me.
I'm me and the hate me, I'm D but they dislike D, I'm unique but they despise unique.

Much Love, D

Today was a weird day, went to college and then came back home. Epping, to be precise, my cousin's house where I'm temporarily staying untill I go back to my sisters house. I cooked for her and myself and now I'm sitting in front of my laptop watching the new series of Brothers & Sister, delightful I might say, I'm totally enjoying it. But before this I had some emotional craziness, a thing that an artist needs to go through every 2 months. This time the emotions were dragged out of me, from my ex-girlfriend, which turns out to be my best friend and the onli one that could read through me, throughout this past months. I wrote a poem, to me, the cheesiest poem I've ever wrote, but it was real:

It’s another day, like the other days
Even though today I’m feeling weary
I’m jus looking, at the ceiling
Lying on my bed just thinking
Thoughts are sinking in my mind
This pain don’t make me feel fine
Everything I do, I don’t feel right
Every choice I make is jus not right

I’m crying but no one can see the tears
I’m losing my mind, I just want to quit
People don’t understand how it feels
To cry underwater

I sent it to her, just to know what she thought about it and there she is, askin me if everything is fine. And words started blurtin out of my keyboard, emotions, that i didnt feel in a long time, came back, tears I always held back, decided to come back, not to fall but to hold unto the cliff of my eyes. My heart was wide open to the person, i decided not to love, because I'm a scared, scared of feelings but that's another story I guess.

I mean it that these are confession of a crazy artist, my life is crazy, my mind is crazy, my family is crazy, my friends are crazy and still I stand out, because I'm me, unique being, created in God's image. You can hate on my lips, my nose, my skinny body or anything else, but here I am still standing strong. Crazily different but i still want belong and be loved and love.

Please rock me gently
my heart is not crystal, it takes jus a breath to break
dnt breath pls, cause that would hurt me
My emotions are so many, intricate and they lead to nothing
I think they lead to you but they don't they lead to nothing
they lead to something im imagining
a cloud, that once u touch it disappears
I love, I hate, I like but mostly I feel
I feel pain, hot tears down my face
I feel joy, hot tears down my face
I feel
My heart is a rock, i think it breaks but it does not
It jus hurts

Hope you enjoyed, love David

PS: I'm sorry for the pain I've caused

Hey, everyone!
My name is David and I'm absolutely new to this. I jus decided to do this for fun and to just kill time.
Today was a very boring day but at the same time it was a nice day. I finally sat down in college and did something after 2 yrs, i think. I might be being drastic but that is the last time I remember doing something. Even though I'm covered with work, that i need to start doing if I want to get into Uni. By God's grace and more effort from moi.
While I was doing the work, my teacher Trevor and I started talking bout music and I kinda dropped a hint that I was lookin for musicians to work with, but he told me that he knew people older than me who had a 9 to 5 job and would just play just for fun, but he said I could speak to someone that could help me to find other musicians of my age range that I could talk to and eventually work with, I'm goin 2 ask my music teacher as well tomorrow. But I'm bored of singing R&B, i mean that is my background I could never leave it, but now it's time for me broad my horizon. I don't know how my friends would take it, dnt really care actually! Should I or Shouldn't I??