Today was a weird day, went to college and then came back home. Epping, to be precise, my cousin's house where I'm temporarily staying untill I go back to my sisters house. I cooked for her and myself and now I'm sitting in front of my laptop watching the new series of Brothers & Sister, delightful I might say, I'm totally enjoying it. But before this I had some emotional craziness, a thing that an artist needs to go through every 2 months. This time the emotions were dragged out of me, from my ex-girlfriend, which turns out to be my best friend and the onli one that could read through me, throughout this past months. I wrote a poem, to me, the cheesiest poem I've ever wrote, but it was real:

It’s another day, like the other days
Even though today I’m feeling weary
I’m jus looking, at the ceiling
Lying on my bed just thinking
Thoughts are sinking in my mind
This pain don’t make me feel fine
Everything I do, I don’t feel right
Every choice I make is jus not right

I see clouds everywhere
No sun is shining
My world is just not strong enough 4 this
I see frown everywhere
No one’s smiling
Whoever is, is just so fake to me

I’m crying but no one can see the tears
I’m losing my mind, I just want to quit
People don’t understand how it feels
To cry underwater

I sent it to her, just to know what she thought about it and there she is, askin me if everything is fine. And words started blurtin out of my keyboard, emotions, that i didnt feel in a long time, came back, tears I always held back, decided to come back, not to fall but to hold unto the cliff of my eyes. My heart was wide open to the person, i decided not to love, because I'm a scared, scared of feelings but that's another story I guess.

I mean it that these are confession of a crazy artist, my life is crazy, my mind is crazy, my family is crazy, my friends are crazy and still I stand out, because I'm me, unique being, created in God's image. You can hate on my lips, my nose, my skinny body or anything else, but here I am still standing strong. Crazily different but i still want belong and be loved and love.

Please rock me gently
my heart is not crystal, it takes jus a breath to break
dnt breath pls, cause that would hurt me
My emotions are so many, intricate and they lead to nothing
I think they lead to you but they don't they lead to nothing
they lead to something im imagining
a cloud, that once u touch it disappears
I love, I hate, I like but mostly I feel
I feel pain, hot tears down my face
I feel joy, hot tears down my face
I feel
My heart is a rock, i think it breaks but it does not
It jus hurts

Hope you enjoyed, love David

PS: I'm sorry for the pain I've caused